and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
