Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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