She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
