I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
