tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
