i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have aggressive nipples.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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