The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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