Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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