This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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