dude i'm inner monologue high
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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