Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
