didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
