i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
