Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
