I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Randomize
