What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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