I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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