I wish I could teleport
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
