I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
