you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
