She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There r osticjed everywhere
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
