Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
