This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
