You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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