If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
