The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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