they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
