found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
