You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Screwed.edu
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
