next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
