He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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