you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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