can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
