i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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