Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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