My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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