On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I look better un-naked...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
