just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
