remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
