Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
