cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
