just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
