I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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