The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
