and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we're making bets on your personal life
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
