K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
