Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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