just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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