guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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