Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
