Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
